OTHERSIDE OF THE COIN: fulfilling promises

the esoterics of ladytao: fulfilling promises
it has been brought to my attention that even though my thoughts may be so;
"Eventually we will find (mostly in retrospect, of course) that we can be very grateful to those people who have made life most difficult for us.-" (true, true)
Ayya Khema, "When the Iron Eagle Flies"
we must also give gratitude to those who bring us such grief, because they make us angry which forces us to confront a part of ourselves that we rarely like to admit is there.
ultimately we ask ourselves what brought about this burst of frustration?
so once again the lesson begins and we seek out in ourselves,where it all began so that we may better understand ourselves.
thank you for teaching me not to hate you
thank you for teaching me to tame my anger
thank you for teaching me i do love you
thank you for teaching me to be a better student

fulfilling promises

the esoterics of ladytao
making promises is the easy part,
fulfilling them is a totally different thing.
what one person has in mind is usually different than what the other person expects.
kinda like religion,
so i ask is making promises even worth it when someone else is given the chance to pick your hard good intentions apart.
that usually comes from someone who is ungrateful for what has been given to them, so they see no good in what others give them because it is never enough to ever please them, no i believe it is their troubled minds that cannot find satisfaction.
i think that is what Jesus meant when he said; "father forgive them for they know not what they do"

even buddha has bad days

the esoterics of ladytao

the student visits with the master because they have no place to turn.
the student askes permission to speak; the master as always receives the request without hesitation.
the student begins to express all the failings that are happening to them at the moment; as the master sits and listens.
the student then begins to notice, that the master is not giving full attention to them and begins to get upset because here is the one person that always has time to listen.
the student then begins to notice that the peace that normally surrounds the master is not there, yet the student continues to tell their story.
the student while continuing to speak is noticing the master's presence of mind is not in this lesson.
the master sits perfectly still, is trying very hard to stay focused on the subject at hand.
the student begins to change the tone of urgency to curiosity and concern, because now what was so urgent to the student is no longer so important, the student is beginning to realize that something serious is wrong with the master because not only is the master's presence of mind not there neither is the presence of character, the smooth, polished lines that only energy can feel is missing. even though the person is present, but the mind and body are not. the feeling of dismay and discontentment come forth and the moment the master is asked the most important question of the moment, "ARE YOU OKAY?"
it's like the dam broke and the student is then bombarded with all that is happening to the master at once, that it feels like they were hit by a whirlwind of reality.
the student then becomes silent and tries to be the ear that the master always is, yet the student begins to feel inadequate and wants so desperately to say the right things to comfort the master and begins to say anything that is similar to the experience.
that is when the master stops and looks over to the student and says, "THANK YOU, FOR ASKING AND THANK YOU FOR LISTENING".
it's not what the student said at all, but that the student realized the master needed aided and comfort also.

thump

the esoterics of ladytao

ever feel like you've gotten a big cosmic slap on the back of the head,
or better yet how about the thump that say's "hey stupid get a clue"
that's what happens when the cosmos are trying to help us but were to blind to see.

i don't know about you,
but i sure have gotten enough thumps on the back of the head to know now who's knocking at my door
or dropping apples from the tree on top of me.

and even thou i know that i'm being directed with a big yellow sign i still take the road less traveled
and end up with no food or water, or stuck in the mud with no one around to help. it still never stops me from going that path again.

"Stupid is as Stupid does"

so yes we deserve to be stuck up in the tree if the ladder falls because we were too lazy to secure it,
or better yet,
we deserve to get lost in the forest because we left bread crumbs and the birds thought we were feeding them
instead of leaving string so they could make a nest.
i still think we should have brought the compass, or those pretty little rocks we found along the way, you know the shiny ones that would have left a glitter in the sky so someone could find us.

this is why the GODS above wagger on us
why they laugh at our expense
why they come from far away galaxies to see the human side of life
they just can't help themselves

peace of mind

finding the peace of mind to determine whether or not to take the next step is more frightening than actually finding the stillness in our minds to trust the GODS with something we all find so precious to us.

the answer we seek, no matter what the question may be.

the answer is as simple as accepting what stands so boldly in our face.
the Gods don't stand idly by as we pray on our knees,
but are so busy trying to get our attention we keep bumping into it over and over again that we have tripped over it so many times that we don't even feel the bruises anylonger.

the esoterics of ladytao: understanding karma

the esoterics of ladytao: understanding karma

i've always taught that karma is not a bad thing, but actually a good thing.
just lesson's unlearned yet

inspiration of pain

the esoterics of ladytao

wow, how do you recover after such a out pouring of your soul which is a direct result of pain from the heart more so than the soul.
such clarity of what the plan of destiny has been laid out if you really think about it.
the man we all worship had to experience pain in the most upmost way for us to understand his message.
we do have the messages of the GOD'S inherently ingrained in all of us.
i find that after such an out pouring of the soul,
like the spring rain it brings such clarity and newness that nothing can compare to the answer that was received.
this is the silence and beauty i've experienced when i have achieved ultimate bliss through meditation of the mind.
at this point nothing more can be said, until the next painful or joyful experience happens.
so until then

understanding karma

the esoterics of ladytao


sometimes understanding the lesson of your behavior is not enough to justify your underlying karmic actions of the past.
i realized today, that watching those you love get hurt is understanding what pain you yourself have put others through as they sat helpless knowing that for every helping step they took,
took you farther and farther away from your true lesson.
as a parent watching your children suffer, while the universe holds you hostage so you can stand by and actually say " I'm sorry, I can't help you"
as you hear your child's desperate calls to you, to help them from drowning in the pit of pain they have dug themselves into, because they too were to stubborn to listen to the wise path of the elder.
oh, such pain, your heart breaking at every call they beg to you for help.

just as the GODS watch from above the very mistake they wagered on among themselves that we would help the needy because it's in our nature as humans to try to take the pain of another away.
when we make a mistake we don't realize how many person's we involve in our drama.
because when we're young and indestructible nothing matters.
so as the child learning to walk for the first time, we must let them fall and hurt themselves so they know such pain, that they don't do it again.
we know as parents that they are not indestructible or immortal, but they don't and until they realize for the first time how to protect themselves they grow up to understand the boundaries that separates them from hurt and pleasure.

ultimately it is our own pleasure that gets us into hurt and pain.
we open the pandora's box;
which brings curiosity; which leads to wonder: what if's, that bring about those people who are so willing to show us the way.....
which then leads down the path of self destruction. we then take person after person down this path because we know that it's in our nature as humans to follow the weak to keep them them from hurting themselves and once we've hit rock bottom and know that for every end there is a beginning.
we head back up the road of self discovery only to begin to find such resistance from those we have tricked into following us.
oh yes! let me not forget those of us who walked the same path and want to show you how much you are like them.
shame, humility, lust, and pain = karma...... or does it.

karma is everyone of those descriptions i mentioned.
karma is the us trying to help by turning our back on them when they need help.
karma is knowing that someday you're going to pay for your indiscretions. karma is feeling real pain in every sense of the word. from the beginning to the middle as a standbyer to the end where whether your intentions were good or evil, you and everyone involved will have to learn the lesson being taught as well.

you may be the student to start where you become the teacher as you begin to show restraints to only end up the master of the entire lesson, because you lived to tell about it after they have come to rest upon your stoop.

this is truly understanding karma and knowing that saying: " i told you so " or that " I knew you were going to do that ".

let's not curse the next generation with our karma, let us show understanding instead.

ode to june

the esoterics of ladytao

losing junie,
today amena and a roy are going to go fishing but this time they will be taking with them junie our turtle because in the short time we have had her she has grown too big for her aquariam. everyone is sad because she has such a personality. but the best thing for her is to be returned to her natural habitat. we were going to have to let her go in the fall before winter set in because she is growing so fast.
she tries to do flips in the tank and always gets clipped by her dock all the time, she loves diving. we'll all miss her and her funny antics. i've never seen such personality.
especially when she is trying to tan, she would center herself on the flat rock that is at the top of the landing dock and stretch out her legs, sometimes up against the glass as if she were getting her legs waxed or nails done.
both roy and amena say the lake they are taking her to has other turtles and plenty of fish, it's very clean and a safe enviroment for her to have a family according to amena, because having a family is very important.

loosing face

the esoterics of ladytao
my daughters went running and just as i was about to say how was the run. one of them tells me that she was bitten by the dog down the street.
my feelings are mixed, i'm angry, i'm concerned. Luckily the skin wasn't broken and she just has to live with the bruising on her leg. i called 911, as you expect to speak to someone as soon as the first ring, i'm shocked by the continuous ringing.
helloooooooo, isn't anyone working today, i mean after all it is 911. i'm glad she didn't get run over, hit by a bus, or worse in this neighborhood get shot. finally the dispatcher picks up and now i'm at a loss for words.
i've lost my temper, my peace of mind. i ask what is the procedure to report the dog, i'm given it, i'm happy about the answer. i relay it to everyone waiting for an answer and they are appalled that i would take such a lax action.
but really what good is it going to do for me to go and yell at my neighbors, look stupid because i don't speak any spanish and end up coming home really pissed off.
i'll wait til tomorrow to file my report with the humane society, walk down there and try and find someone to translate for me, if they even knew there dog got out and bit my daughter and make them aware that they've been reported.